During my time on the big city where I studied, I followed most of the guidelines suggested by "the readings" but during that time never really happened, until one day I decided go further.
The excersice I was following was "reaching inner silence" this consists on using the environment as a source of sensorial perception for my senses. When you pay attention to all your surroundings you eventually find out that your thoughts start to diminish. But no matter how hard you try there is always a though popping out, and it is usuallly something that worries you or something ready to make you forget what you are doing.
Despite this strange barrier, I decided to go further and force myself to go deeper.
The result was amazing! For the first of my life I finally sensed something unfamiliar in me but at the sametime something really comforting. When I managed to get on inner silence I witnessed two main events.
During those states I realized something: "There was an amazing calm and a unknown inner voice telling me that no matter how big my daily problems were in reality they don't even matter."
But I even realized there was another voice, a voice that at first I thought it was my self later to find out it wasn't but at the same time it was.
The first time I felt this I did not payed to much attention to it. Later it became really clear that there were two freaking voices in my head during my silence states. One voice was there calming me and telling me that everything is ok. I also realized that is that voice the one that brings order to my life.
On the other hand there is another voice, but that one brings conflict, doubts, fear, and realzed that is the voice I hear everyday in my thoughts.
What a revelation I had!
It was until going deep into the reading I found out what was going on there. Damn! There is something and entity that they call the "Flier". Reading deep into the subject I was shocked!
It is said these entities control humanity with the sole purpose of eating us. It is like a farmer that controls their animals to later kill them to eat them.
But the way they control them is shocking but really clever. At some point of our lives the foreign energy or what I call "energy parasite" take control of our minds making us believe we are them. I know it is hard to believe, and believe me even that time when I read that chapter I could not believe it. One part of me knew that is true while another was telling me I was reading science fiction.
Well the thing is since that day my life has not been the same. There is constant duality inside me fighting and fighting hard. The only way to shut up the voice that brings conflict is when I practice the inner silence, and still I feel how it pops up voice in my hear trying to break my concentration.
That voice trying to break me up is what I call the source of darkness. What the readings call "The Flyer". Other cultures call them differently, some call them Archors and even some religions such as Scientology mention them but with different meaning.
Fighthing the Energy Parasite or the source of darkness is what my life has become ultimately. The thing here is that nobody but me can help me. Nothing coming from human society can help with this fight because it is the flyers who built this society and it is you the one not believing a word of what I am saying the voice of the Flyer itself.
The only way to feel and discover the source of darkness that always follow us around is practicing inner silence, there is no other way.
Discipline is my only weapon here. I have rid of it for short periods, and during that time I have enjoyed my real self and I will get rid of it forever.
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